At Milk Makeup, we’re proud to support the LGBTQIA+ community and the immense creative cultures within it. That’s why for Pride Month 2023, we’re celebrating ballroom culture. Ballroom has long been the site of creativity. But even as the spotlight on ballroom and its community gets brighter, the story of the people behind it, particularly the Black trans femmes who have an outsize influence on ballroom culture, don’t always get the recognition they deserve. We’re here to give them their flowers.
Stay tuned throughout the month as we share the stories of four Black trans femmes from the Artistic Haus of Telfar, and their thoughts on ballroom, beauty, and beyond.
Arie “Rose” Telfar is the type of “‘round the way” girl from New York that we all know. She’s bubbly, can make friends with just about everyone, and has the perfect confidence-to-cockiness ratio that’s required to make it through this hard world. She describes herself as being “passionate about being a bad bitch and being pretty”—she might say it with a laugh, but trust and believe, she’s no joke. She is just as dedicated to her look as she is to her work as an award-winning advocate for gender and racial justice.
Read on for Arie “Rose” Telfar’s relationship with makeup, the story of how Tati Miyake-Mugler inspired her, and why even in beauty, comfort reigns supreme over everything.
How did you come to ballroom or the kiki scene?I was aware of ballroom for a good minute because of the shows My House and Pose. Both introduced me to the trans experience and what ballroom and the whole community is. What really pushed me to understand who I was and my place in this world was Tati Mugler. When I saw her on My House and the way she carried herself, I never felt something like that in my life. It aligned with me so much, seeing her live her truth and twirling like a ballerina. There’s this perfect scene where she’s voguing and the song playing is called “Reclaiming My Time.” She spins in the air then down into a dip. Mind you, I already knew how to dance: I’d been dancing since kindergarten. This was a different kind of dance and everything I wanted to be. After watching a lot of voguing videos online, I went to this ball at Nordstrom Rack that Honey Balenciaga posted on Instagram. I was very courageous because let me tell you something: I did not know how to vogue for nothing, but I still pumped through! I did my little one-two with all this confidence. After that, I ended up stumbling on The Center and I saw they were relaunching Vogue Basics where I could learn how to vogue for real. That’s where I met my gay father. |
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What is a gay father for you?
A gay father is a parent. Your chosen parent. It’s not just the ballroom scene or the kiki scene, but it comes from ballroom. My gay father and I talk every day and see each other. It’s someone who is a role model and parental figure. For somebody on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, it’s very hard to have a relationship with your biological family so it’s definitely something that’s necessary to have. People use it to survive a hard world and being rejected by people that are supposed to be there for you. It’s an extension of support. A gay mother or trans mother, they are all like along the same lines.
Can you describe your makeup style?
My initial makeup style, when I was going through high school, was very dramatic. It was very artistic. I loved a cut crease, very detailed eyebrows, bright colors, dramatic highlighter. But it’s evolved through the pandemic with me trying to get into more natural looks that really complement my face.
Honestly, I have a wishy-washy relationship with makeup now. I prefer not having makeup on because I feel more confident without it. Sometimes, makeup makes me feel clockable or like I’m giving drag queen vibes. I’m very picky about who does my makeup. I want it to always complement or enhance my natural beauty.
Can you break down what clockable is?It’s the opposite of being “passable.” When I say passable, I mean blending in with the cis-heteronormative. So for some trans women, it’s how well you can “pass” as a cis woman. If you’re clockable, then you have something that outside society may see as masculine or not a cis woman. Some trans women don’t care about it and don’t see passing as a goal. It’s all a personal choice. Are you really serious about your skin regimen and do you have go-to products?I’m very passionate about my skin regimen. That’s another reason I don’t wear a lot of makeup because I love the integrity of my skin. Right now, I’m using Dermalogica skin cleanser. I also focus on facial hair removal. I went to the aesthetician and they told me to use products with salicylic acid to prevent dark spots, exfoliate, and prevent shadows. So I’ve been using the Neutrogena cleanser with salicylic acid and the Microfoliant exfoliator from Dermalogica. After that, I spray with a toner by Chill House. Everybody always asks why my skin is glowing and it’s the toner. I have it on right now. I also use Milk Makeup’s Hydro Grip Set + Refresh Spray to add an extra glow—I don’t even have on makeup, but I’ll put it on to hydrate my skin. Sometimes I put it on my body as well. |
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What are three musts for your makeup bag?
I really love bronzer. Juvia’s Place bronzer, I just feel it goes so well with my skin tone. Blush—it just adds that extra oopmh. I’m still trying to figure out the best way for me to apply it because sometimes I feel like I look crazy, but I do like it. And also lashes—lashes are everything.
What role does beauty play in your life both in ballroom and beyond?Looking good is more about making sure I feel content or comfortable with how I look. It makes me feel strong and empowered. In ballroom, you have to do a little bit extra or exaggerate your features but in real life, I don’t like to do much. Does voguing provide something different to you than other forms of dancing?I feel like it complemented me. What I really love about dancing is freestyling. I feel like I can be myself. With voguing, when you go out and perform and get your tens, it’s about being yourself. You have to put the elements into it, but it’s about embracing your essence. It’s letting yourself be free. When I was a kid, whenever I was dancing, I felt the most like myself. I would go all out and feel free. The difference is just that with voguing, there’s the five elements to the dance: duckwalk, catwalk, floor performance, hands, and spins and dips. Has there been a member of the house that has changed how you viewed yourself?When I see our overall mother Symone, it makes me excited to see my future and my journey. I admire seeing progress and evolution when it comes to transitioning and evolving as a woman. When I first met her I thought she was fire; so fab and the epitome of beauty and femininity. It just wakes me up and is so inspiring and gag-worthy to see her now. |
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Do you think you get anything from ballroom that you take into your everyday life?
My understanding of ballroom’s realness category. Understanding that trans women are held at this high expectation to be seen as passable is something that really has impacted me. I always tell myself I don’t have to be like the next bitch. I’m good enough just as I am whether or not I’m getting clocked or I’m seen as passable, it doesn’t matter. I’m still pretty. My journey is worthy and valuable. I wouldn’t be who I am if it wasn’t for what I’ve been through. I’m very content with who I am.
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